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 Luna's magical adventure

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PostSubject: Luna's magical adventure   Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:14 pm

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Hey everyone! I am starting to write stories now. I want to know your guys opinion. What do you think so far? After you read it, tell me if you think I should continue it or not. Please BE HONEST!! If you think I could do better or work on something, then please tell me. It would help a lot if you be honest.
It was a bright and sunny day on Earth and a young fairy named Luna was packing her things in two suitcases. She was leaving to go to Alfea for the first time. A few months ago, Luna's parents told her that she was a fairy and how her mom, Selena, was a fairy too until a powerful witch took all her powers when she was younger. She still had some power left in her but not enough to strike an attack.
As soon as Luna was all packed her Mother,Selena, and her Father, James, went to the backyard so no one can see them and then they tossed a device in mid air. It was a machine that makes portals appear. When the portal appeared, Luna and her parents walked through. When they reached the other side, they stopped at where the barrier would be. They all knew that all non magical creatures can not enter the magic realm. Selena could not enter cause she did not have enough power for the barrier to let her through. Luna said good bye to her parents and then she walked through the barrier and turned back waving to her parents and watched as they both went back through the portal to go home. She signed and turned around towards Alfea and started walking in that direction.
“Well, no turning back now.”, said Luna as she was walking towards Alfea. She finally reached the Gate and met Grizelda, the teacher of discipline. She knew she had to walk up to her and hand her the papers that allows her to enter. She just stood there, watching as the other fairies handed in their papers. She then finally went towards her.
Well it's now or never, Luna thought to herself as she continued walking towards Grizelda.
“Hello. What's your name?”, asked Grizelda. “And where are your papers?”
“I am Luna. My papers are right here”, said Luna as she handed her the papers.
“Okay. You are alright to go in.”, said Grizelda as she approved Luna's form.
“Thank you”, Luna said politely as she walked into the Alfea school for fairies. She stood their in the lobby, just looking around and looking at the structure of Alfea. She already felt right at home. The headmistress Faragonda finally came down the hall. She greeted everyone, made her speech and then dismissed everyone to go to their dorms. Luna went up the stairs to find her dorm. When she found it, she opened it and already two girls were standing in the middle of the room. One had Red-ish pink hair and the other had some pink with some red in it.
“Oh. Hello girls.”, greeted Luna as she started walking forward.
“Hi. I am Rossa, fairy of Flowers”, said the red-ish pink haired girl. “I am Melanie fairy of Love. What is your name?”, said the pink and red haired girl. Politely.
“I am Luna fairy of the moon and lightning.”, replied Luna.
“Well it was very nice to meet you Luna. We are expected to have five girls in this dorm. We are still needing to meet two more. I think I hear them now”, said the Melanie as two more girls walked in the room. One had green with a little purple and the other had light blue hair.
“Hello girls. In case you did not know, I am Nixie fairy of the Ocean”, greeted the light blue haired girl.
“Hi. I am Diana, fairy of wild animals.”, greeted the green and purple haired girl as everyone found their rooms and beds. They all put their belongings down by their area and told each other about their self except for Luna. She knew that there was not much to tell about her except that her mom was a powerless fairy and that her magic came from moon and lightning. She just walked to her bed and sat down.
“Is everything okay Luna?”, ask Melanie.
“Yeah everything is fine. I was just- oh never mind. I a tired and class starts tomorrow. I have to go to sleep. Good night girl.”, said Luna as she untucked her blankets and laid down to go to sleep and so did the other girls as well.


So what do you think? Should I continue this story? BE HONEST!
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Mon Nov 02, 2015 8:03 pm

I. Loved. It. I LOVED IT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Sat Dec 12, 2015 8:35 am

Thank you! I guess I will continue it then. I will post the next part soon.

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:49 pm

Love these  bounce

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Thu Dec 17, 2015 9:44 pm

I AM LITTERLY ALWAYS LOVING YOUR PARTS I NEED THE NEXT PART
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Fri Dec 18, 2015 2:17 pm

I am really busy with things these days but i will write the next part soon, maybe tonight hopefully and i will try to make it pretty long. Promise.

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Sat Dec 19, 2015 9:03 am

ok take your time
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Tue Dec 22, 2015 7:17 pm

here is part 11. ENjoy

The next day, Luna went for a walk to get some fresh air. She then felt a strange magical energy in the air. She then walked outside and felt the energy even stronger. She felt like screaming for help but her voice wouldn't work. She started to run but then she got caught in her tracks. She did her best to send a magical signal to one of her friends and very little energy excaped her body. All of a sudden, she fainted and then 10 minutes later, she got up, her eyes glew red for a sec then back to normal. Then Melanie cam outside, Luna looked at her and then threw her across the ground. “Ahhhh. Owe”, screamed Melanie. “Luna? What was that for?”, said Melanie curiously. The Rossa and nixie came outside to help. Luna blasted all of them this time and they all fell to the ground. “I will distroy you all! No one will stop me”, said Luna as they all starred up at Luna. “Luna, why are you doing this to us”, asked Nixie. “Because, you guys were never really my friends, you are my enemies. I have the ultimate power and I will use it to destroy all of you”, said Luna and then all of a sudden she fell to the ground and fainted. The darkness she was feeling was too much of her to handle. After five minutes she woke up by the woods. Apparently she was taken there by her friends to get cooled off. She got up and went back to alfea to find her friends. She went to her room and everyone starred at her and grabbed their nearest object as a defender. “Stay back!”, screamed Rossa. “Guys, whats wrong with you?”, questioned Luna. “You atacked us and I am not letting that happen again. I thought you were out friend but I was wrong. I am so sorry Luna but get out of here”, explained Nixie. “Guys, please stop. Flashback I was under a darkness spell”, said Luna trying to confince her friends she was on their side. “Why should we believe you?”, asked Melanie. Luna started to cry. “FINE DON'T BELIEVE ME!! I WILL JUST LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK! I AM OUT OF HERE!”, yelled Luna as she ran out of alfea crying and she went up into the forest and up the hills and then fainted while still crying.
At alfea.....
“Guys, I think she was telling the truth, because I was looking out my window and she was having a little spasim. I saw dark energy entering her system”, said Melanie as the tried to confice the girls. “Yeah I saw it too earlier. And guys, the witches did say they wanted her alone so we wouldn't be able to help her. This was a trap for her!”, screamed diana. “We have to go help her”, said Rossa. As the girls went to go look for Luna.

What do you think about this part?
Stay tuned for....
What will happen to Luna? Will they find her? Who get enchantix next?
What will happen in the next part?
Stay tuned for more coming soon.

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:06 am

OMG I love this already 2 plot twists because you know earlier in the story Luna was put under that spell But its kinda like mine from the other forum (You do know which one im talking about right?) but thats okay this is just so awesome
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:17 am

Thanks and yeah I like to do twists sometimes and i will make more later but mine will be a little different from yours i think and yeah I think i know which one your talking about (solar or whatever her name is). Anyways, would you like the next part?

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:19 am

Yep I would like the next part! Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Wed Dec 23, 2015 11:31 am

Okay i will make it in a minute.

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Thu Jan 28, 2016 4:16 pm

The wait! The wait is yet so long but I can handle it
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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Thu Jan 28, 2016 4:20 pm

Sorry been busy

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PostSubject: Re: Luna's magical adventure   Thu Jan 28, 2016 4:28 pm

Its okay
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